Thursday, July 3, 2014

Open Letter to the IRS

To Whom It May Concern:

If corporations are people, then logically people can be, for example, churches. Effective immediately, please be advised that I am the High Priest of my own temple and, based on strongly held religious beliefs recently formulated, I assert that the First Amendment to the US Constitution protects me from enforced taxation on donations to my faith-based charity (me!), and that illegal taxation represents a form of CONTRACEPTION, which aborts my pursuit of happiness! Therefore, pursuant to the Hobby Lobby ruling by SCOTUS, I am no longer obligated to pay money to any organization that promotes contraception and abortion. Jesus said, “Give everything to God and if there’s anything left, give half to the state.” (Mark 12:17) In other words, the fruit of my happiness belongs to God and His servant (me!) and whatever material, physical needs I lack, the state has a duty to give me: “from the state according to its deep pockets for bailout; to each according to their needs and entitlements.” 

Yours truly, Citizen X

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